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We loved having Amberly Grant on this episode of Pennies and Popcorn! She brought such great insights to our discussion, and is one impressive lady!
For this blog post, I’d like to focus on something a little different than what we discussed in the episode and that is … why do swindler con artists hold so much fascination for us?
Con artists are criminals. They steal. They cheat. They lie. They’re dangerous menaces to society and belong in prison. And somehow we … love them for it? Ocean’s Eleven, Catch Me If You Can, Sneaky Pete, Imposters, Better Call Saul, The Bling Ring. All these stories focus on criminals and con artists. And we eat those stories up with a big ol’ spoon. We can’t get enough. And the latest addition to the con artist genre, Inventing Anna, is only further proof of our obsession with these confident criminals.
Inventing Anna is the story of Anna Sorokin, who passed herself off as Anna Delvey, and claimed to be a German heiress who was only a few short years away from coming into a trust fund valued at $60 million. (All fake.) She grifted off others, always claiming to be on the outs with her wealthy father who wouldn’t front her any more money (for now). When that stopped working, she conned a bank into giving her a hefty line of credit by forging documents “substantiating” her wealth. And she tricked a friend into paying for an insanely lavish trip to Morocco, promising her she’d wire her funds to cover the expenses just as soon as she ironed out problems with her bank. But she had no money to pay back her friend and she knew that good and well. And these are just some highlights from her sordid career as a con artist.
So she’s not what I would call a role model. She’s not that different from someone who skips out on a dinner bill or shoplifts. She’s a common criminal.
So why are we so fascinated with her? I think the answer has at least two major pieces. And each one can teach us a money lesson.
We Love Glamour
There are con artists all over the world, but not all of them capture our imagination the way that someone like Frank Abagnale Jr. (from Catch Me If You Can) or Anna Sorokin does. And that’s because these guys go big. They won’t settle for lifting your wallet or sitting behind a computer and pretending to be someone else online. They want the high life and will get it no matter what it takes.
That’s a captivating story because, well … don’t we want those things, too? In Inventing Anna, we see Anna walking around dressed to kill in high-end designer clothing, toting the most stylish bags, frequenting the poshest restaurants, and hobnobbing with wealthy, important people. She is a magazine model come to life, prancing around in the fanciest brands the world has to offer.
We wouldn’t be enthralled by a story about someone shoplifting from Target. Heads wouldn’t turn for someone writing hot checks and promising fake wire transfers just so she could eat at The Olive Garden. We’re only fascinated because of the glitz and the allure of the things we can’t ourselves afford (or choose not to splurge on).
And yes, as we talked about with Amberly on our show, some luxuries can be truly awesome and make our lives more convenient and even more enriched! But obsession with luxury is corrosive. The pull of designer goods is ultimately just eating away at your real dreams. After all, most dreams cost money. And if you’re spending your disposable income on luxury clothing and eating out at the trendiest restaurants, you are giving the middle finger to your bigger dreams.
We certainly see a perfect example of this in Anna Sorokin! She yearns to build a foundation that will support artists and give people a place to collaborate and build a community of support for the arts. And I don’t doubt that Anna could have done this! Imagine if she had used her people skills and eye for fashion to land herself a job as a stylist or worked for another designer or a buyer at a high-end department store. She could’ve crushed those jobs. And in her spare time she could have befriended artists of all kinds and found a modest space where they could all pitch in to the cheap rent and give themselves the space they needed to share ideas and display their projects. If dressing in high-end fashion was important to her, she could have frequented thrift stores to find great deals on nice pieces. All of this was within her grasp. Legally.
But instead, she wanted to jump to the head of the line. She pretended to have things she didn’t. And she frittered away what little money she did have on luxury goods that she clearly could not afford. What’s true for Anna is what’s true for so many of us:
You can build an incredible life if you don’t let your desire for fancy things conquer your bigger dreams.
We Love Confidence
The phrase con artist is, of course, short for confidence artist. And gosh … what a thing: to have built your confidence to such an incredible level that it’s an art form. And all you have to do is watch Inventing Anna (or Catch Me If You Can) to see just how far confidence can get you.
Why is it so powerful? Because it’s something we all want! Think about what confidence really is: it’s complete and utter acceptance of who you are. It’s feeling great in your own skin and your own accomplishments. It’s not giving two flying doggy farts what anyone else thinks about you because you like you, so what else matters. Insults sliiiide off a confident person like water off a duck’s back because they can’t be bothered to give your opinions a second thought when they’re busy living their own happy, fulfilled lives.
Confidence rocks. And while it can be used for evil ends, a la Anna Delvey, it can also be the foundation for a really happy life. Maybe the best part about confidence is that it can be built. Not caring what other people think is a muscle you can work just like your biceps.
Next time someone gives you a snide look for what you’re wearing or offers you a backhanded compliment (can we all just agree that telling someone that what they’re wearing is “flattering” is basically code for “you’re unattractive but that shirt/dress/whatever hides it well!” Ugh.), instead of thinking “ugh” … like I just did … try to happily think something like: “What a shame that person has nothing better to do than size me up! Oh well! Maybe this next person will be more fun to talk to!”
In other words, channel your inner Elsa and LET. IT. GO. Whoever or whatever it is who’s making you feel yucky about yourself, just gliiiide on with your awesome self and don’t let them get to you.
What’s the money lesson here?
Confidence is a money saver!
Instead of feeling like you won’t be accepted when you pull into the parking lot with your old beater car, you can skip that feeling altogether and keep enjoying your old car for as long as it gets from A to B and puts a smile on your face. Instead of feeling like people will look at you funny if you tell them you had a restful weekend just taking walks and reading and relaxing instead of going to a hot new restaurant and catching a concert, you can just do what makes you happy and feel zero desire to impress someone with your Insta-worthy exploits. Instead of worrying someone will look down their nose at you for wearing the same thing you wore a few days ago, you can just smile and think of the solid foundation of savings you’re accumulating and how amazing you feel wearing comfortable clothes you love.
So work that confidence muscle, friends. It’s maybe the most important muscle. I mean … there’s the heart and … that’s kind of important for moving blood around, etc. But confidence is maybe the most important muscle that isn’t in the human body! So get out there and exercise it!
Anna Delvey/Sorokin put her confidence muscle to use for evil ends. But you can use yours to be Anna’s polar opposite. Instead of going so far as committing crimes to impress other people, don’t worry at all about impressing anyone. You do you, and the world will be even more entranced by that than any ol’ fake German heiress.